5 ways to support a loved one suffering from mental health concerns
Worried your partner is struggling to cope with stress or anxiety? A clinical psychologist breaks down how you can navigate the tricky subject of supporting a loved one suffering from mental ill-health
IN ANY GIVEN YEAR, 1 in 5 Australians will experience a mental illness. This statistic highlights that mental health concerns can happen to anyone (even yourself). Talking to someone about mental health can be a difficult subject to broach, but it can be even harder when considering broaching the topic with a loved one.
Think about it like this: when someone is feeling physically unwell or under the weather, most of us are comfortable referring them to a doctor or specialist. However, when it comes to mental health, the same approach just doesn’t seem to apply. That’s because there is still some stigma attached and while we have come a long way, at times it can feel like a taboo subject.
Thankfully, as we move into the future, we are starting to get enough awareness to change the conversation. So, how can you support a loved one who is suffering? Below, Dr. Maria-Elena Lukeides from The Wellness Fountain details 5 ways to support someone with their mental health.
1. Open up the lines of communication
It can be hard to know what to say to someone when you are worried about them (especially since they tend to withdraw from those around them). This can make it hard to start a conversation how know that opening up the lines of communication is the first step in supporting them. A great way to start a conversation about mental health is letting your loved one know you are worried about them, based on the behaviour you have observed. For example, “we haven’t seen you much at any of the family gatherings lately, how are you?” or “I noticed you seem really tired lately, is there anything I can help with?” If they don’t seem like chatting right then and there, remind them that you are there for them whenever they are ready to talk.
Whenever speaking to someone about mental health, focus on active listening and avoiding judgement. People benefit from open communication that involves attentive listening, harbouring of emotional safety and trust that the discussion won’t escalate to an argument or get emotionally overwhelming. Here, it might be worthwhile to explore “I” statements and avoid the word “you”. Instead of saying “you need to see a therapist because you’re not coping”, it might be worthwhile to consider “I can see it is a difficult time at the moment and I’m wondering if there is a professional who could help change that”.
Be careful not to respond with phrases that might minimise how they feel (like “you’ll be fine” or “don’t worry about it”) which can imply you don’t think what is happening is that significant. Instead, consider saying things like “I’m sorry that sounds hard, how can I help?”.
2. Create a safe space
Before jumping right in and asking someone about their mental health, consider the situation in which you are asking first. Is it in front of a group of people or when they’re about to go to bed at night? Or when they’re rushing out the door? If that’s the case, try to find a better time or a more private environment.
People are going to feel less likely to want to open up if they think others are listening. They’re also less likely to give you much of a response if they’re rushing out the door. It’s important to also note that it’s best to avoid having conversations about emotional wellbeing right before bed, as this can mean you’re getting the other person – and yourself – to really think about things that could keep you up at night. Instead, create a safe space that will feel comfortable for them, helping them to relax in a trusted environment.
3. Know the resources to suggest
When it comes to matters of the mind, the first step is talking, however the next step should always be action. Sometimes simply talking to loved one can be helpful, but there are times when a professional’s advice is needed.
There are many places a person can turn to for mental health help. If the matter is urgent and you are worried that the person might be at harm to themselves or someone else, please call 000 immediately. For less urgent matters, there are many services available in Australia that a person can turn to. Services like Lifeline and Beyond Blue all provide support by way of free over-the-phone counselling with trained experts. The best place to suggest is visiting your local General Practitioner who will be able to point you towards several services and professionals. The Wellness Fountain is another option, as it provides access to a trained psychologist with over 25 years experience.
Put simply, there is no reason why someone should suffer in silence. Support your loved one by doing some research into the mental health resources available to suggest and gently remind them that it is ok to seek help. Or, go one step further and help them book the appointment, or even go with them as a support (should they request it or feel comfortable).
4. Offer practical help
When someone is suffering from mental health concerns, day to day tasks can feel extremely difficult. Even getting out of bed can be a daunting task or cooking themselves a meal can feel like preparing for a marathon. Sometimes offering help in practical ways can help a person in emotional ways. Offering to make them some meals for the week, do their groceries, pick up their dry cleaning, or minding their children, can be practical help that can ease their mental load. Find out what they would be comfortable with and be sure to assist however you can.
5. Take care of your own mental health
While it sounds counterintuitive, taking care of your own mental health should be a priority when supporting someone with theirs. Being someone’s support network can be emotionally taxing, so be sure to prioritise your emotional wellbeing. In fact, it’s important to make your mental health more important than those around you. Sure, you need to support your loved one, but just remind yourself that there are professionals who can help, and that you can provide better support to someone else when you’re feeling 100%.
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