While phimosis isn’t always a problem, if it’s causing difficulties with urinating, pain or discomfort during sexual activity, or complications like frequent infection, it’s important to get it sorted. So, here’s some evidence-based information on the condition to get you started.

What is phimosis?

You know when you try to put on a shirt with the top button or cuffs done up? That’s the sartorial equivalent of phimosis.

Most penises come with foreskins, and these are ‘stuck’ to the head (glans) of the penis at birth. This is normal and it’s called ‘physiological’ or ‘primary’ phimosis. The foreskin gradually separates from the head of the penis until it can be fully retracted, usually by around two years of age in most boys, but physiological phimosis can remain until the mid-teenage years.

Physiological phimosis doesn’t require treatment unless there are associated problems like recurrent urinary tract infections (UTIs) or inflammation of the foreskin and glans (balanoposthitis). Deliberate pulling back of your foreskin when you have physiological phimosis can damage the skin, leading to scarring and ‘pathological’ or ‘secondary’ phimosis.

Phimosis in adulthood

Pathological phimosis is caused by irritation, injury, infection or inflammation of the foreskin leading to scarring and white, hardened patches of skin on the glans and foreskin (a condition known as lichen sclerosis). These changes in the foreskin make it difficult or impossible to retract.

We don’t really know how many people with foreskins have pathological phimosis but it’s estimated to occur in around two to seven per cent of all men.

Pathological phimosis can cause problems with urination, or pain or discomfort during erections and sexual activity, and requires treatment. Complications of untreated phimosis include inflammation of the glans (balanitis) and penile cancer (although this is rare).

How do you treat phimosis?

The least invasive option for treating phimosis is to use steroid creams to reduce inflammation and soften the foreskin, but stopping the use of the cream might result in the problem returning. Stretching the foreskin to reduce its tightness is possible but there’s no evidence that it cures the problem and the foreskin may get damaged and make the problem worse.

Only one treatment for phimosis has good evidence for being effective. It is virtually 100 per cent effective and works for everyone, but it might seem extreme – circumcision.

Circumcision for phimosis

According to Medicare statistics, there are around 4500 circumcisions performed each year in Australian males over 15 years, and just under 60% of those would be expected to be for phimosis (based on studies from Canada and the USA). So, around 2700 Australian males each year are circumcised to treat phimosis.

You can’t get diseases of body parts that you don’t have. That’s why people who were circumcised at birth don’t get phimosis, and why they have lower rates of health problems like balanoposthitis (inflammation of the glans and foreskin), UTIs, and penile cancer than uncircumcised people.

One hundred to fifty years ago, infant circumcision rates in Australia were high but they began decreasing in the 1970s. Now, around one in 10 Australian baby boys is circumcised. It might be expected that, as there are fewer and fewer males in the population who are circumcised, there might be increases in rates of phimosis and other foreskin complications but there’s no evidence for this one way or the other.

Needing to get circumcised can be a bit confronting. The British Association of Urological Surgeons has good information about what’s involved.

Controversy about circumcision relates mostly to when it’s performed for non-medical reasons in children, and relates to cost/benefit considerations, body autonomy, and human rights.

There are certainly plenty of people who are unhappy to have been circumcised, some of whom claim that the procedure has negatively affected their sexual function, and selective use of medical literature seems to support this. However, a systematic review of scientific studies, concludes that male circumcision has no adverse effect on parameters relevant to sexual function, sensation, sensitivity, satisfaction, or pleasure.

How to prevent phimosis

Good hygiene can prevent phimosis and its complications, so if you have a foreskin you should:

• Gently retract your foreskin each time you shower or bathe
• Only use water or very mild soap to wash the glans and the inside of your foreskin
• Make sure the glans and inside of your foreskin are well rinsed
• Gently dry the glans and inside your foreskin
• Return the foreskin to its normal position to avoid paraphimosis

Paraphimosis is when the foreskin gets ‘stuck’ behind the glans of the penis and cannot be returned to its normal position. You should always see your doctor if you have any concerns about changes in the way your genitals look or feel but paraphimosis is a medical emergency that needs immediate attention.

Associate Professor Tim Moss is the Health Content Manager at Healthy Male —  an Australian not-for-profit that provides evidence-based information on men’s health. Tim has a PhD in medicine and uses his experience and expertise from more than 20 years of work in medical research and academia to find and interpret reliable, evidence-based information, to challenge dogma, myths and misinformation.

For information on everything from anxiety to fertility, exercise to erections, you can check out Healthy Male here.

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The post The foreskin problem that’s more common than you think appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.

We don’t want you to be duped out of your hard-earned, or into taking a DIY approach to something best left to professionals. So, before you turn to so-called testosterone-boosting supplements, here’s what you need to know about testosterone, how to know if you really do have low levels, and why higher isn’t necessarily better.

What is testosterone and how does it work?

Testosterone is a hormone required for development and function of the body, and is responsible for regulating sperm production, bone health, muscle mass and sex drive. It is produced mainly by the testes in men, but it is also produced in smaller amounts by the adrenal glands and a few other tissues in the body (including the ovaries in females).

Testosterone has profound effects on the body. Just look at the changes that occur during puberty in boys, when testosterone levels increase by a factor of 20. The extreme effects can be seen in the physiques of pro wrestlers in the ’90s (and the long list of wrestlers who died early from complications of testosterone abuse, like the Ultimate Warrior and Eddie Guerro); or the developmental problems, infertility and other health effects caused by testosterone deficiency, like for the one in 500 males who have Klinefelter syndrome.

The effects of too much or too little testosterone show why our bodies need to regulate our testosterone levels within a healthy range.

The Ultimate Warrior I WWE

How does the body regulate its testosterone level?

The body keeps testosterone at the right level for proper function using a negative feedback system to ensure levels don’t get too high or too low. Here’s how it works: a part of the brain called the hypothalamus monitors the body’s testosterone level. When levels are low, it signals the testes to make more. When levels are high, it tells the testes to make less.

In addition to testosterone, the hypothalamus is responsible for regulating lots of biological processes (such as digestion, metabolism, immune function, sleep and reproduction) and it integrates information from many of the body’s systems to optimise function.

What is a normal level of testosterone for men?

The normal range for levels of testosterone in the blood (in the morning, fasted) for young healthy males is around 10 to 30 nmol/l (approx. 290-865 ng/dl) and in healthy older men is around 6.5 to 26 nmol/l (187-750 ng/dl). Any level within these ranges is considered normal. Higher doesn’t necessarily indicate healthier. You can think of it like height, where anywhere between 163 cm and 194 cm is normal.

Does ‘male menopause ’exist?

The large overlap in ‘normal’ testosterone levels between younger and older healthy men shows that there isn’t a large decline with age. ‘Male menopause’ is a myth and it persists because its appeal can be exploited to sell people things they don’t need.

Some males do have low testosterone levels, but in many cases, it’s due to lifestyle-related disease, such as overweight or obesity, insulin resistance or diabetes, or cardiovascular disease. In these cases, testosterone treatment isn’t much more helpful than getting back to good health through diet and exercise.

Perhaps the myth of male menopause persists because the symptoms of low testosterone are so common. Who doesn’t have times when they lack energy, have poor concentration or trouble sleeping, are less interested in sex, or don’t feel as strong as they used to? But a low testosterone level isn’t the only thing that explains these symptoms. That’s why a precise diagnosis of hypogonadism (when your testes don’t produce enough testosterone) is needed before beginning testosterone treatment. Testosterone treatment is not appropriate for most of the possible causes of symptoms shared by low testosterone and other health problems, which include cancer or depression.

Diagnosis of hypogonadism requires at least two measurements of blood levels of testosterone and other hormones, taken in the morning, while fasting, and collected on separate days. To receive a government subsidy for the cost of testosterone treatment, serum testosterone levels must be below 6 nmol/l, or between 6-15 nmol/l in combination with other specific hormonal abnormalities.

Weighing up the ways to increase testosterone

If your body fails to make enough testosterone to function normally, you’ll need testosterone replacement therapy (TRT). We know the benefits of the treatment are substantial and outweigh the risks in these cases. TRT is provided by specialist clinicians, with careful monitoring to avoid the negative impacts testosterone treatment can cause. A fairly common consequence of TRT is polycythaemia, which increases the risk of blood clots, heart attack, stroke or death. While a large, recent clinical trial provided reassuring findings about some of the health risks of TRT, “[i]t does seem, however, that every positive testosterone study always comes with caveats”.

There are lots of caveats.

It’s important to note that most of the evidence about the effects of using testosterone comes from studies of older men, many with existing health concerns. The results from these studies can’t be applied to younger men because testosterone’s effects are age dependent. For example, testosterone can help maintain bone density in older males, but it limits height by stimulating the closure of growth plates in long bones in younger males. And side effects like infertility are less consequential for older men than they are for younger males.

Most clinical trials of testosterone treatment only last a couple of years, so long-term effects on cardiovascular health, and other systems, aren’t captured. Using testosterone to try and counter the effects of ageing is a long-term commitment. The withdrawal effects of stopping testosterone treatment often lead to starting again. That’s a consequence of that negative feedback system. Using testosterone shuts down the body’s production of the hormone and it takes months to recover.

Testosterone use for building muscle or enhancing performance often involves long-term use at high doses, so it’s reasonable to expect that outcomes will be different than after well-regulated use in a two-year clinical trial. Add to that ‘stacking’ (use of other substances in addition to testosterone), the unpredictable risks of using testosterone (and other substances) acquired from illicit sources, and risks from unsafe injecting, and there are a lot of unknowns contributing to what the overall effects will be. But we know steroid abuse is linked to cardiovascular disease, liver and brain damage, rhabdomyolysis and embolism with side effects also including gynaecomastia, acne and infertility.

What are the evidence-based ways to maintain a healthy testosterone level?

People who want to sell you things will tell you that you can ‘naturally’ boost your testosterone levels but evidence to support their use, in most cases, just doesn’t exist.

Remember, the hypothalamus takes in information from a whole range of systems when regulating the level of testosterone in the body. Testosterone levels fall when we’re unwell, so eating well, sleeping well, and being sufficiently active, all raise testosterone levels.

A ‘natural’ way to help maintain a healthy testosterone level is to maintain a healthy weight because being overweight lowers testosterone levels, particularly if you’re carrying weight around your waist.

The fundamental components involved in maintaining a healthy body, such as a nutritious diet and daily exercise, can be more effective and are certainly safer, than shortcuts to increasing testosterone levels.

Associate Professor Tim Moss is the Health Content Manager at Healthy Male – an Australian not-for-profit that provides evidence-based information on men’s health. Tim has a PhD in medicine and uses his experience and expertise from more than 20 years of work in medical research and academia to find and interpret reliable, evidence-based information, to challenge dogma, myths and misinformation. For information on everything from anxiety to fertility, exercise to erections, you can check out Healthy Male here.

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The post Do you really need to boost your testosterone levels? appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.

10. Hentai 

In Japan, the word “hentai” means any type of perverse or bizarre sexual desire or act, but outside of its borders it’s used to describe anime or manga pornography. It turns out plenty of people are into kinky cartoon characters…

9. Well hung

Larger-than-normal penises came (geddit) in at the number nine spot. 

8. Huge breasts

Another case where bigger really is better – the eighth most viewed porn category belongs to women with huge breasts.

7. Anal

Coming in at lucky number seven is anal. And when you read this shocking news about anal sex, you’ll understand why.

6. Ebony

Involving at least one African American person, ebony is the sixth most popular category of porn.

5. Mature

There ain’t much ageism in porn with mature vids placing fifth. 

4. Teen

Perhaps out of a nostalgic longing for bygone days of youth, or simply due to the vitality of younger women, teen comes in a number four.

3. Amateur

Those big budget porn shoots are overrated! If you’re sick of the terrible acting and obviously fake situations of big-channel vids, then the amateur category is right for you. Nothing can compare to the authenticity and realism of the amateur porn, which manages to crack the top three.

2. MILF

Coming in at number two and further proving ageism doesn’t influence our porn habits is the MILF category. We won’t comment on the disturbing role Oedipal complexes have played in getting this category so high on this list.

1. Lesbian

Taking out the top spot and the crowning achievement of being the most viewed porn category is Lesbian porn! Sapphic love has long attracted the sultry attention of both men and obviously, women. But it seems for men, it’s the most alluring genre of all.

Related:

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Your Partner Likes Porn, Too — Here’s What You Should Watch Together

The post Pornhub reveals the 10 most popular porn categories of the last 10 years appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.

With rapid technological advancements being made every day, we’re constantly being subjected to new stimuli that can affect our mental health, and as Professor Eric Chung, the Scientific and Clinical Advisor for LTR Pharma explains, that can have a marked impact on sexual performance. “For younger men, erectile dysfunction and sexual performance anxiety can be highly psychological,” Chung says. “Meaning a lot of what goes on downstairs is correlated to what is going on in our minds and bodies.”

Problems with sexual performance aren’t rare. In fact, they’re fairly common nowadays. Recent research published in Sexual Medicine Reviews found that one in four men experience sexual performance anxiety and distress at some stage in their life. But according to Chung, “stigma and embarrassment often pose barriers to starting meaningful conversations and getting the appropriate care and support.” For that reason, understanding how your recreational activities can impact your performance in the bedroom, and knowing how to combat them, is paramount.

Here, we break down how and why some common recreational activities can impact sexual performance.

Excessive porn consumption

The harmful impacts of excessive consumption of pornography have only been exacerbated by recent technological advancements and the increasing ubiquity of smartphones. Professor Chung puts it bluntly, saying that we live in an “environment of hyper-sexualisation”. Today, porn is more accessible than ever before, and as you’d expect, it’s also more popular than ever before. A 2024 study from the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Public Health that drew data from a nationally representative survey found that 80 per cent of Australian men are exposed to pornography by the age of 20.

Porn is not inherently harmful to sexual performance. Chung stresses that “Proper use of pornography can have positive effects if consumed appropriately and can even help with erections and sexual relationships”. But while it can have some benefits specific to individuals, more often than not, excessive porn consumption has a net negative impact.

“Pornography can influence a person’s understanding of sexual behaviours, including what constitutes norms, appropriate and ideal sexual satisfaction,” Chung says. “Men who watch porn can sometimes build an unrealistic expectation around sex and their performance in the bedroom. This can be anything from body image, comparing penile anatomy size, sexual positions, and duration, as well as fetishes.”

These misinformed notions of sex and what constitutes sexual satisfaction can lead to confidence issues and negatively impact a person’s sense of masculinity. As Professor Chung explains, “This can hinder their ability to engage in sexual intimacy and perform in the bedroom.” But that’s not all. “Another perspective is that excessive use of pornography can desensitise and dissociate a person, changing the chemical patterns in an individual’s brain linked to emotion so that they no longer respond to cues that spark arousal from sexual activities,” Chung says.

Gaming

Another development that has been brought about by advancements in the realm of technology, recent studies have shown that a large amount of time spent gaming can increase the likelihood of erectile dysfunction. Sedentary lifestyles in general have been associated with erectile dysfunction, but a recent study in Andrology, which assessed the correlation between leisure activities and erectile dysfunction, found that increased computer usage was associated with a greater risk of developing impotence.

The study also assessed other leisure activities like watching TV and driving but only found a causal association between erectile dysfunction and gaming. It might be time to hang up the headset.

Vaping

Getty Images

The popularity of vapes has skyrocketed in recent years, especially amongst young people. The Australian Bureau of Statistics reports that more than 38 per cent of Australians aged 18-24 have used an e-cigarette or vape at least once, and you’ll have difficulty navigating a city crowd, a busy concert, or even a lively pub without detecting a fruity aroma and waft of vapour these days. That rising popularity is coming at a cost to users though.

New research from New York University indicates that frequent vaping more than doubles the likelihood of developing erectile dysfunction. The study surveyed 13,700 men about their smoking habits and health and found that men who vaped daily are more than twice as likely as those who never vape to develop the condition. If you needed another reason to quit, let this be it.

What should you do if you’re having problems in the bedroom?

If you frequently partake in any of the above activities and are having issues with sexual performance, it might be time for a re-evaluation of your lifestyle. While watching porn, gaming and vaping don’t guarantee issues with sexual performance, they do heighten your risk with varying degrees of severity. If you want to reduce your risk, the solution is fairly simple for vaping: quit cold turkey or at least limit your usage. For gaming, balancing sedentary leisure time with an active lifestyle is an obvious fix. But for pornography, the solution can be less clear.

Professor Chung assures us that there are strategies to assist with erectile dysfunction and sexual performance anxiety associated with pornography. “The first is to assess your level of engagement with pornography. Ask what type of pornography is being consumed, how frequently, and what boundaries, if any, are involved,” Chung says. “Secondly, it is important to communicate and set clear, realistic expectations with yourself and your partner to build a healthy sexual relationship. Try to create a space for spontaneous sexual intimacy and build on a sense of trust, safety and support to help ease anxiety and stress in the mind and body.”

Further support can be found in seeking professional help, Chung says. “Be open-minded and seek therapy if necessary. Perhaps there may be underlying issues or psychosexual trauma that need to be acknowledged and addressed. Fortunately, there are many such services available either face-to-face, online or via telehealth.”

If your problems are more serious, there is reason for optimism. LTR Pharma, for whom Professor Chung works as a Scientific and Clinical Advisor, currently has a product called SPONTAN in clinical development to treat erectile dysfunction. SPONTAN is a fast-acting nasal spray designed to treat erectile dysfunction in ten minutes or less. Clinical trials are currently underway, with results expected in coming months.

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The post The lifestyle factors that could be impacting your bedroom performance appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.

Straight or gay, top or bottom, you generally try to maximise your time when it comes to the gym, health, and grooming; why not do the same for your self-pleasure? So, put on your adventurous hat and get ready to learn about the benefits of prostate massagers. Trust us, your prostate will thank you for it.

So, read on to discover some of the most popular and highly-rated prostate massagers on the market.

Finding the prostate

The prostate is a vital gland in the male anatomy and finding this little wonder can feel like an epic quest shrouded in mystery. Situated just below the bladder and in front of the rectum, it’s about the size of a walnut and plays a crucial role in reproductive health. To locate it manually,  insert a lubricated finger into the rectum and feel for a small, firm bump along the front wall. This process, known as prostate massage or examination, requires patience and gentle exploration. While finding the prostate may seem daunting at first, understanding its location and function is also essential for maintaining overall health and wellbeing.

Lubing up

Lubrication is paramount when it comes to prostate massaging, as it ensures a comfortable and pleasurable experience while reducing the risk of injury or discomfort. The anus and rectum lack natural lubrication, making it essential to use a high-quality lubricant to facilitate smooth insertion and movement of the massager. Lubing up also promotes relaxation, easing any tension or apprehension that may arise during the process. Overall, prioritising lubrication ensures a safe, enjoyable, and effective prostate massage experience.

Rookie 10 Function Vibrating Prostate Massager

Starting our list, we begin with a ‘rookie’ device, literally, the Lovehoney Rookie 10 Function Vibrating Prostate Massager is the perfect initiation into the world of backdoor bliss. Its sleek design, ten-mode functions and waterproof features hit the mark for an affordable massager. This cheeky Rookie knows how to hit the spot and leave you craving an encore. At a fraction of the price, it’s the go-to introductory tool for self-pleasure. 

• Waterproof: Yes 
• Insertable length: 4.5 inches

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High Roller Remote Control Rotating Prostate Massager

Moving on to another affordable number from Lovehoney, the High Roller Remote Control Rotating Prostate Massager is a game-changer in intimate pleasure. This sleek and discreet device is engineered for optimal comfort and satisfaction. With its innovative rotating head and powerful vibrations, it precisely targets the prostate for intense stimulation. The wireless remote control allows for effortless operation and hands-free play, making solo or partnered exploration a breeze. Designed with both beginners and experienced users in mind, it offers customisable sensations to suit individual preferences. Crafted from high-quality materials, the High Roller ensures durability and long-lasting enjoyment without breaking the bank account. 

• Insertable length: 4.5 inches
• Waterproof: Yes
• Three speeds and seven vibration pattern

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Magic Missile Vibrating Ribbed Silicone Male Prostate Massager

Introducing the Magic Missile Vibrating Ribbed Silicone Male Prostate Massager and possibly the newest stealthy sidekick to your wildest fantasies. A fitting name given ribbed design and powerful vibrations, it’s like having a secret weapon in your pleasure arsenal. Say goodbye to dull moments and hello to a thrilling adventure of pleasure. Whether you’re a rookie or a seasoned pro, with 10 vibration functions and a curved shape for precise placement, the Magic Missile is here to launch you into a realm of climax.

• Insertable Length: 4.5 inches
• Waterproof: Splash proof

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We-Vibe Vector+ App and Remote Controlled Rechargeable Prostate Massager

The We-Vibe Vector+ App and Remote Controlled Rechargeable Prostate Massager is a backstage game-changer in the realm of male pleasure devices. Take a look at the design. The Vector+ is crafted with body-safe silicone, ensuring a comfortable and luxurious experience. Its ergonomic shape fits snugly, targeting the p-spot with precision. However, the app and remote control capabilities are the real standout features. The app allows for customisable vibration patterns and intensity levels, putting complete control at your fingertips, whether flying solo or engaging with a partner. The remote control functionality adds an extra layer of excitement and convenience. Dual motors and a rechargeable battery ensure long-lasting top-tier enjoyment. 

• Adjustable head and flexible base
• Insertable Length: 4 inches
• Waterproof: Yes 

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Lelo Loki Wave 2 Rechargeable Rotating and Vibrating Prostate Massager

The Lelo Loki Wave 2 Rechargeable Rotating and Vibrating Prostate Massager is a masterpiece of innovation and pleasure engineering. Its sleek design and premium materials exude luxury, setting it apart from the competition. Combining rotating and vibrating functions to deliver intense prostate stimulation, this leads to a blissful and unforgettable experience. What truly sets it apart is the Wave motion technology, which creates a unique ‘come-hither‘ sensation, enhancing the massage to unprecedented levels of ecstasy. The ergonomic shape ensures a comfortable fit, while the rechargeable battery provides long-lasting enjoyment. 

• Insertable length: 4 inches
• Waterproof: Submersible
• Run Time: 120 minutes

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Lelo Hugo 2 App Controlled 4.2″ Silicone Prostate Massager

The Lelo Hugo 2 App Controlled 4.2″ Silicone Prostate Massager redefines the pinnacle of intimate pleasure. Crafted with precision and sophistication, this device offers a luxurious experience. Its sleek design, made from premium silicone, ensures both comfort and durability. With app-controlled functionality, users can easily customise their experience, adjusting vibration patterns and intensity levels to suit their desires. The ergonomic shape and size provide targeted stimulation to the prostate, leading to intense and fulfilling sensations. Whether used solo or with a partner, the Hugo 2 enhances intimate moments and elevates pleasure to new heights. Embrace the epitome of indulgence with the Lelo Hugo 2, a must-have addition to any pleasure seeker flying solo. 

• Length: 4.2 inches
• Waterproof: Yes
• USB rechargeable

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Wild Secrets Wonder 5.5″ Vibrating Prostate Massager

Get ready to shake up your world (in your own time) with the Wild Secrets Wonder 5.5″ Vibrating Prostate Massager. Its sleek design and powerful vibrations make it the ultimate tool for exploring uncharted territories of pleasure. Whether you’re a newbie or a seasoned explorer, the Wonder knows how to push your buttons correctly. With a whopping 10 vibration functions, an easy-grip handle base, and magnetic USB charging, this little gem takes style and simplicity to a whole new level. 

• Insertable length: 3.7 Inches
• Waterproof: Splash proof (IPX5)
• Adjustable external arm for a perfect fit

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Nexus Revo Extreme Remote Control Rotating Prostate Massager

The Nexus Revo Extreme Remote Control Rotating Prostate Massager is the Maverick of pleasure gadgets. With its remote control and mind-blowing rotating action, it’s like having your own personal pleasure commander, taking prostate play to the next level with its daring design and powerful vibrations. Whether you’re a novice or a seasoned connoisseur, the Revo Extreme knows how to rock your world; six external vibration modes and two bidirectional internal rotation speeds are also on offer, and the craziest detail is the technologies combined with 34 possible pleasure settings. So say goodbye to monotony and hello to a whirlwind of excitement. 

• Insertable Length: 5 inches
• Waterproof: Submersible
• Six vibration functions

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The post The ultimate guide to prostate massagers appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.

Unfortunately, it happens more than it should. Ever heard of the “orgasm gap”? The term refers to the proven fact that straight, cis men orgasm during sex significantly more often than their partners do. A 2017 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour found that these men orgasm 95 per cent of the time, whereas straight, cis women only orgasm 65 per cent of the time. The disparity has nothing to do with vulva owners’ anatomy; that same study found that cisgender lesbians orgasm 86 per cent of the time during sex, and additional research shows that vulva owners have no problem reaching orgasm during masturbation.

When it comes to making your partner orgasm, the key is thinking beyond intercourse alone. A 2020 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that it took between 12.76 and 14.06 minutes for the average vulva owner to reach climax during penetrative sex—roughly double the 5 to 7 minutes it typically takes penis-owners. And fewer than 1 in 5 vulva-owners are able to orgasm from penetration alone, according to the Mayo Clinic.

So how can you help your partner reach orgasm? Before you make it your life’s mission, a quick warning: While orgasms feel amazing, the act of chasing them can add a lot of pressure to your sex life. Recent research has focused on “orgasm coercion”: the idea that trying too hard to make your partner come can put pressure on them, which feels like coercion. People on the receiving end of orgasm coercion may feel like their climax is more about their partner’s need to feel “man enough” than it is about their pleasure. Talk to your partner to see if they feel this way. If they do, discuss what you can do to help take the pressure off.

How to make your partner orgasm

With all that said, let’s talk orgasms. If you want to help your partner climax—or make their orgasms even better than they already are—try these tips from sexual health experts.

1) Don’t race toward your partner’s orgasm

“Try to remember the goal of sex is pleasure, and orgasm is one kind of pleasure that is significantly shorter than all the rest of it,” says Shadeen Francis, LMFT. That’s why Francis recommends slowing down. Take your time with your movements, and don’t focus on the end game. There is a slight irony to it—the more your partner thinks about orgasming, the less likely they will be to orgasm. So take the pressure off of your partner and focus on making them feel as good as possible for as long as possible. (We refer to this slow-down technique as closing the “pleasure gap.”)

2) Incorporate external clitoral stimulation

First thing’s first: the vast majority of vulva-owners require external clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. In fact, a study of more than 1,000 vulva-owners in 2017 revealed that only 18% of participants could orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone. So when you’re having sex, you want to focus on external stimulation alone or in combination with some form of penetration.

If you want to stimulate your partner’s clitoris during P-in-V intercourse, some sex positions make it easier to do than others. Rachel* is a fan of the coital alignment technique, or CAT: “When a guy is on top of you in the missionary position, have him shift his body slightly forward so that, every time he thrusts, his penis rubs against your clitoris.” This tactic is even more orgasmic if your partner’s legs are together and you’re straddling them, says Ellen Friedrichs, M.A., a health educator who also teaches at the City University of New York’s City Tech campus. You can achieve the same effect when they’re on top by propping yourself up on your elbows, which places your abdomen in closer contact with their clitoris.

3) Opt for specific positions

Speaking of the clitoris, there are some sex positions that come out on top (see what we did there?) when it comes to providing that sought-after stimulation.

According to Gigi Engle, SKYN’s resident sex expert, one of the best sex positions for clitoral contact is the lotus. In this position, you start seated and cross-legged, while your vulva-owning partner sits on your lap facing you and wraps their legs around your back. For a slightly less strenuous modification, you can also try the lotus position seated in a chair.

Engle likes this position because, like with the coital alignment technique, it entails sliding back and forth rather than bouncing up and down.

“It allows for more grinding against your partner’s body for that good old external stimulation,” she Engle.

Rebecca Glass, LMSW, a sex and relationship therapist, notes that cowgirl and reverse cowgirl are also stellar positions for getting some clitoral contact because the vulva owner has complete control over the angle of penetration.

4) Pay more attention to their butt

Unless anal is on the menu, butts are typically sidelined during sex. And that’s a shame, because “the buttocks are packed with nerve endings,” says Gilda Carle, Ph.D., an internationally-known relationship expert. To give your partner “a surprising jolt of pleasure,” spread your fingers wide and squeeze their cheeks.

That said, you should ask your partner if they’re into booty squeezing first. If they’re down, be gentle, and take it one step at a time. Yes, of course, there are people out there who crave a good, hard spanking, but that needs to be discussed and agreed on before the butt smacking begins.

5) Learn what your partner likes, and follow their lead

As we mentioned above, direct, external clitoral stimulation is the most surefire way to bring many vulva-owners to orgasm—and oral sex is a pretty good way of going about that. Sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT, says that using your mouth is the best way to get a sense of what your partner likes at every stage of arousal, including the stage just before orgasm. You’ll know your partner is becoming more aroused if you notice increased vaginal lubrication or if the external portion of their clitoris or their entire vulva swells. The clitoris—including the wishbone-shaped portion that’s underneath the skin—is made of erectile tissue just like the penis, so if your partner’s genitals increase in size, you’re doing a good job!

To find out more about your partner’s preferences, let them take the lead. When you’re giving them oral sex, get between their legs and give them a solid base of lips, tongue, and even chin (if you have a clean, smooth shave, that is) to rub against. While your partner does the grinding, note how hard they’re pushing and in what direction. Use that information later when using your fingers or mouth to please them.

6) Don’t stop kissing them

Once things get more heated, you might be tempted to focus less on kissing in favour of more X-rated pleasures. But deep kissing is often a must for reaching orgasm, according to a 2017 survey of more than 50,000 adults. The findings revealed that vulva-owners were much more likely to reach orgasm if their sexual encounter included a combination of deep kissing, oral sex, and genital stimulation.

7) Indulge their fantasies

Ask your partner if they have any fantasies they’d like to explore. “Fantasies can increase arousal during a sexual experience,” says Francis. “Finding a fantasy that really turns your partner on can add another layer of pleasure during sex.” It’s also a way to get your partner more psychologically aroused, which is just as important (if not more important) than physical arousal when it comes to having an orgasm. One study found that vulva-owners with lower sexual desire tend to require mental arousal in order to recognise their physical arousal. Try role play or tell your partner an erotic story to kick their pleasure up a notch.

8) Talk dirty to them

“Dirty talk” doesn’t have to include four-letter words. Describe what you’re doing to your partner, or say what you want them to do to you. If you’re hesitant, a simple compliment about how attractive you find your partner will do the trick. And if your partner has told you in advance that they’re turned on by specific words and phrases, pepper those into the dialogue, too.

9) Lube up

No matter how hot and heavy you’re getting, without adequate lubrication, it’s easy for sex to become uncomfortable or even painful for your partner. While lube is absolutely necessary for anal sex (butts don’t self-lubricate like vaginas do), it’s helpful for vaginal penetration and external stimulation, too—it can even make fingering more pleasurable. “Lubrication increases the comfort and speed with which you can penetrate the vagina and grind against the clitoris,” says Friedrichs.

Remember that needing lube doesn’t mean your partner isn’t turned on—some bodies just get wetter than others. Plus, medication, hormonal imbalances, menopause, stress, and dehydration can all decrease the body’s natural lubrication, so there’s nothing wrong with needing a little extra slippery stuff. Using lube makes sex more comfortable for everyone involved. In fact, a 2011 study found that using lube enhances sexual pleasure for vulva-owners. Just remember that if you’re using condoms, you should stick with water-based or silicone-based lube, since oil-based lube can damage latex.

The post 15 secrets to making a partner orgasm every single time appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.

Should I Try Anal?

Whether or not you should try anal is a personal decision – only you can make that decision for yourself. It’s important to not let anyone pressure you into it. If you’re not 100% enthusiastic about it, you don’t have to do it, no matter what your friends, your partner, or society says.

Does Anal Sex Hurt?

The anus isn’t like the vagina; it doesn’t produce its own natural lubrication, and it doesn’t “loosen up” and adjust during penetration. If you approach anal sex the same way you approach vaginal sex, it will most likely be painful. So if you’re wondering how to start an anal session properly: relax your muscles, and use generous amounts of lube.

Related:

The best sex toys for men

How to workout for a better, longer sex life

The post The beginner’s guide to anal sex appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.

When ejaculation happens, “the parasympathetic nervous system shuts down as the body relaxes,” explains Dr. Lee Phillips, Ed.D, a psychotherapist and certified sex and couples therapist. “The brain also releases serotonin, which also causes relaxation.” This can make getting hard again straight away—and therefore, having multiple orgasms—a less-than-easy feat.

But did you know that orgasm and ejaculation are two different bodily functions? While they usually function in tandem, an orgasm is actually the release of tension at the height of the sexual response, which then (usually) triggers ejaculation, which in turn induces that refractory period where you can’t get hard.

If only there were ways to orgasm without ejaculating, right?

Oh, wait. There are!

Experts have identified various ways for cisgender men to orgasm multiple times in a row, including through non-ejaculatory multiple orgasm (NEMO) and prostate orgasms. It just takes practice. (Lucky for you, that practice involves masturbation, so this’ll probably be the most fun homework you’ve ever had.)

An added bonus: learning to have multiple orgasms can benefit everyone involved in your sex life.

In this multi-orgasmic practice, there may not be a big ‘ol’ visual finish every time, but the pleasure can be extraordinary. Basically, you begin building your capacity for having orgasms without ejaculation.

Are you intrigued? Let’s break down how you can begin on your multi-orgasmic journey. Because pleasure is the measure and we all deserve to maximise it.

Understanding the Refractory Period—and What It Means for Multiple Orgasms

What makes multiple orgasms difficult for cis men? The refractory period. Once ejaculation happens, the brain and body go into a rest period. Your penis needs time to recoup before it’s up and running for more.

Your body and brain essentially become numb to sexual stimuli for a hot minute. “It is often called the resolution stage of the sexual response system because, after orgasm, the penis returns to a flaccid state and the level of interest in sex usually goes from intense to virtually non-existent,” Phillips says.

This may be annoying, but Philips says that after a certain amount of time, it’ll definitely become possible to get aroused again. Each person’s refractory period depends on their specific body, age, and other life factors. Everyone is different. Research has shown the refractory period can last for a few minutes, hours, or even days.

But what if we just did away with the refractory period altogether in order to join our vulva-owning pals and get on the multi-orgasm train?

Enter: non-ejaculatory orgasms.

Non-Ejaculatory Multiple Orgasms (NEMO)

As we’ve mentioned, we tend to equate penile orgasms with ejaculation, but that’s not exactly the case.

“The orgasm is the part of the sexual experience that happens between two and seven seconds before ejaculation,” Ava Cadell, Ph.D., a Los Angeles sexologist explained to GQ. “It combines an increase in full-body sensitivity, quickening of breath, and a flood of sensations through the scrotum and penis.

“Ejaculation is the final step of stimulation and involves the release of semen, as well as the neurotransmitters that will send the body into ‘rest and recovery mode,’ or the refractory period.”

While it’s virtually impossible for men to have multiple ejaculatory orgasms with no refractory period, you can climax several times in a row if you don’t release any semen. The technique is known as non-ejaculatory multiple orgasm, or NEMO, and involves strengthening your pelvic floor.

What do non-ejaculatory orgasms feel like?

If you think non-ejaculatory orgasms will feel different from regular orgasms, you’re right—so remember to lower your expectations just a little.

“You can’t expect for each small orgasm to feel like your usual orgasms,” says Jonathan Stegall, M.D., founder and president of the Center for Advanced Medicine in Atlanta. “They’ll be less in intensity, but for some men, having several small orgasms is actually preferable to having one big one.”

How can I have multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms?

Strengthen those PC muscles.

As we mentioned earlier, having multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms is all about controlling your pelvic floor.

“While some men experience multiple orgasms accidentally, others can learn to invite such a reaction,” says sexologist Yvonne K. Fulbright.

You can do this with Kegel exercises, which strengthen the pelvic floor muscles and your ability to control orgasmic and ejaculatory responses in the heat of the moment, she says. Your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle—which stretches from the pubic bone to the tailbone—controls ejaculation. If you can keep yourself from ejaculating after an orgasm, you’ll be more likely to skip the refractory period and orgasm again—and again, and again.

To perform Kegel exercises, you want to contract the PC muscle as you would when you control the flow of urine as you’re peeing. You can practice Kegels anywhere—like contracting the muscle for 10 seconds while sitting in your car.

Suppress ejaculation while masturbating.

“In studies of men who claim to be multi-orgasmic, researchers have found that some guys just seem to come by it naturally, whereas others have taught themselves to have multiple orgasms,” explains Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author Tell Me What You Want. The men who taught themselves how to be multi-orgasmic did so “by engaging in a lot of masturbatory practice in which they would get to the brink of orgasm, but then prevent ejaculation from occurring, such as by squeezing the penis.”

The key is to get as close as possible to the “point of no return” without actually reaching it. Relationship guru Dan Savage popularised that term, and it refers to when you reach a point either during sex or masturbation when ejaculation is inevitable. No amount of holding off, pressure, or Kegel squeezes will prevent emission.

When practicing how to become multi-orgasmic, it’s necessary to familiarise yourself with your own point of no return and to not cross it. “With enough practice and exercise, these men said that they were ultimately able to have several orgasms when they have sex, with their last one being an ejaculatory orgasm,” Lehmiller says.

Try a different position.

If you have a hard time delaying gratification, switching positions during sex can help you control ejaculation and erection.

Sex therapist Jane Greer suggests trying a sex position where you’re easily able “to stand up and pull out before you ejaculate.” (May we recommend any of these?) “That way, you can tighten your muscles right before the point of ejaculation so you can experience orgasm without ejaculation.”

Focus on your breath.

Lesbian couple lies in bed together, covered with a duvet while their legs are entwined

In The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know, authors Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams dedicate a large portion of their book to the importance of breathing.

Deep “belly breathing” or “diaphragm breathing” is a key to mitigating ejaculation, explain the authors. When you get close to ejaculating, your breath rate sharply increases as you take short and shallow breaths. This, in turn, also increases your heart rate. Slowing down both will help you better control ejaculating.

To practice belly breathing, sit on a chair with your back straight. Relax your shoulders and place your hands on your stomach. Inhale deeply through your nose, and feel your stomach expand. Your chest should not move. Each breath should last for at least three seconds. Get in the habit of doing this type of breathing daily. You can do it at work, while crossing the street, and (especially) when you find yourself stressed. The goal is for belly breathing to become your normal style of breathing.

Now, when you’re in the bedroom, you’ll notice both your breath and heart rate increase. This is when you really want to engage in belly breathing to help slow down your breathing and postpone ejaculation.

Prostate Orgasms

One of the best ways to experience multiple Os without ejaculation? Getting the prostate involved. (Aka: The p-spot). The goal is to have a prostate orgasm (or anal orgasm), a unique and satisfying sensation that doesn’t necessarily involve penile ejaculation. In fact, some penis-owners can have a prostate orgasm without even being hard.

If you want to climax multiple times in one sex session, you can combine prostate and penile orgasms—or just have multiple prostate orgasms!

How can I stimulate my prostate for a multiple orgasmic experience?

Start by yourself.

Taylor Sparks, an intimacy educator and founder of OrganicLoven.com, tells us that the best way to begin this journey is on your own. “This way you have immediate information about what you like/dislike without the need for instructing someone else or concerns about comfort, making the process simpler and more effective.” We have to get to know how our bodies respond before we bring in partners.

Relax the anus.

In order to do any sort of penetration, you have to be fully relaxed. Breathe into your body and bring awareness to the anal opening. Practice relaxing it. When you’re ready to insert a finger, go really, really slowly. Anal play requires patience.

Always use lube.

Lube is your best friend. Do not even think about penetration without a high-quality lubricant. Phillips suggests using a silicone lubricant, as it has a lot more staying power.

The post Wanna Have Multiple Orgasms? Try These Tips and Techniques. appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.